CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
