please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
