So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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