I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize