True but thats because hes a fetus.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
