dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
