That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
