I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
