just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Drake has all the answers
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
