i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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