hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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