I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
