Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
