Whatcha textin bout Willis?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize