She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
