You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
