Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
