I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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