i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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