make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
