Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
