so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
