My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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