did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize