North Korea, Best Korea!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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