Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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