I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
His hands were made for my vagina.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
