I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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