I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
