my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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