how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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