I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
