Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
dude. I can hear the air.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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