for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
