She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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