Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
