THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
false alarm. still invincible.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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