Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
