I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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