I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
