community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Operation Purity has been aborted
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize
