FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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