Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You are a genius and a whore.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
