Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
