know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
