Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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