Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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