Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
