Non-Jews are for practice
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
