The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
