Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
