Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
