Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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