please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I need to calm my uterus...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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