There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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