Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
