Is it normal to miss your booty call?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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