We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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