why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
